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Spencer D.W.'s avatar

sick story and I mean that in both ways haha. I saw you said it started out as a gross out story and I am really glad it evolved to more. While I love the gross and goopy I need a purpose for that goop. That being said, my biggest criticism is build up. I'd you ever sit down and revise this, spend just a smidge more time at the beginning. It would be dope to see him maybe making some coffee, doing a couple normal routines as maybe he thinks about the excitement for today. like he has a big interview or something.

And once the gore starts having a few more moments in his head, maybe little hints of their first meeting/what led here kinda thing.

I love what you go though and enjoyed it! and that is coming from someone who doesn't exactly like ghost centered stories. You managed to subvert that. Very good! and I still have some of your other stuff in my to be read list, I'm excited to dive into that! I couldn't make this one wait seeing how you said it was inspired by me and a much better writer than myself and that is just incredibly nice and will not get used to people saying I inspire them at all haha.

keep on keepin on homie!

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EJ Trask's avatar

you really did something with this. there were parts I was afraid to read, and what’s horror if not that?! I loved the end especially, allowing the story to continue like that was very satisfying.

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